Here we will attempt to answer questions... which are frequently asked... hence the title. And so forth.
You can submit your own questions at the bottom of the page. But please, only questions pertitinent to the Baldwinization proceedure. Please don't ask any questions regarding the numerous legal issues that Dr. Boddicker is currently embroiled in. Our lawyers have instructed us to ignore such questions.
|What is Baldwinization™?|
|Baldwinization™ is the surgical process by which a patient is made to look exactly like the Baldwin brother of their choice.|
|How does Baldwinization™ work?|
|Using patent-pending, cutting edge technologies, Baldwinization™ changes the physical structure of the entire body to resemble the Baldwin brother of your choice.|
|How long does the Baldwinization™ procedure take?|
|The Baldwinization™ procedure takes less than one week to complete with a suggested recouperation period of no less than 2 weeks.|
|Can women undergo Baldwinization™?|
|Absolutely yes! The Baldwinization™ procedure has been performed on many happy women.|
|Can you make me look like a celebrity other than a Baldwin?|
|Unfortunately, the Baldwinization™ procedure has been streamlined and designed to specifically address the likeness of the Baldwin brothers.|
|Can you make me look like non-Baldwin brother Adam Baldwin?|
|Unfortunately, despite having the same last name, Adam Baldwin is not an option of the Baldwinization™ procedure.|
|Is this the same Dr. Boddicker that was indicted in the Colorado "Cadaver Scandal"?|
Dr. Boddicker maintains that the so-called "Cadaver Scandal" is simply a misunderstanding and he will be vindicated of all charges. Having already been found not guilty** of the necrophilia and corpse defiling charges, Dr. Boddicker is confident the RICO statute convictions will be overturned on appeal. Dr. Boddicker remains free on bond.
** UPDATE **
All RICO convictions have been overturned and Dr. Boddicker has since undergone his own Baldwinization. He is now clearly a handsome man.
|Has Dr. Boddicker undergone the procedure?|
|Yes indeed! Following the successful dismissal of all pending RICO charges against him, Dr. Boddicker was free to undergo the appearance altering surgery! In fact, Dr. Boddicker's surgery was filmed for a VH1 reality series titled "Baldwin My Face!"|
|Is this available for African Americans?|
|While Dr. Boddicker is generally frightened of black people, the Baldwinization Centers of America do not discriminate based on race or color. However, if you're Jewish, please keep that to yourself. Dr. Boddicker is a raving anti-Semite.|
|I wanted the Stephen package but somehow I ended up looking like James LeGros. What's the deal?|
|A small percentage of patients possess facial structures which cause an applied Stephen package to resemble actor James LeGros. While the difference in appearance is negligible, it is possible to bridge this gap with further facial reconstruction for a nominal fee. This does not apply, however, to the Daniel/Joe Cocker anomaly which requires full facial tear-down.|
|Have any of the actual Baldwins authorized Dr. Boddicker's Baldwinization™ method?|
This is an excellent question, and one generally reserved for the Law Firm of Pinkerton, Duff and Graves. In short, however, as any plastic surgeon can attest, when a patient says "can you make my nose look like George Clooney's", no authorization from George Clooney is needed.
Please note: Dr. Boddicker can in no way make you look like anything but a Baldwin. Take your Clooney worship elsewhere.